I’ve recently decided that growing up sucks a little bit. Having to be in charge of paying for things, acting emotionally mature in difficult and stressful situations, and remembering the excessive number of deadlines for classes etc. Artists, from what I have seen on campus and experienced myself, are notoriously bad at ALL of these things, most especially remembering deadlines. As an artist, and a young college artist at that, I feel like I hardly have any time to finish projects between writing papers, studying for tests and working. Just about all I have time to do any more art wise is doodle.
I end up with sketches and doodles out the yin-yang from class, ranging in location from notebook margins, to napkins, to actually in my sketchbook. The difficult think is though, is that just because these things come out of my head doesn’t mean that I can actually ever use them for anything. I’m starting to get more and more nervous about my future. What if I don’t get accepted into the Illustration program, what if I do but struggle to find a job once I graduate, or what if I do accomplish all of these things, but then decide that this isn’t the direction that I should have gone with my life. There is so much stress and anxiety about all of this and normally my response would be to sit down and doodle for a while until my nerves are calmed, but I hardly even have time to do that.
My schedule is crazy, my life is crazy, my mind is wandering and crazy; but the more and more I think about it, the more I realize I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am blessed to have things to pay for, and a job to pay for them, I am getting an education and following my dream, and if I change my mind, then that’s ok, I have a backup plan and everything will be ok.
So, yeah, growing up really sucks right now, but I’m glad I’m getting the opportunity to experience it.
On a side note, what are you guys doing for Halloween? Those of you who are following my Instagram page probably have seen my punk Disney princess series I am sort of working on, and I am going as my version of Snow White, which will hopefully get posted soon. Please feel free to leave me suggestions for princesses or pieces you would like to see, I am always in need of ideas to create finished ideas from!